These are a few of the questions I got since I quit my job last Feburary, both from friends and from people I've just met. The strangers are easy to distract by asking them about their own work/job/life purpose/hobby. It's harder to talk about something different with friends and acquaintances. They want to know the ins and outs. They want to try to understand what I am doing. Often, this causes a lot of stress for them, that they directly fire back at me.
My honest answer to their questions is: I don't know. I am on a search, and I want to do a lot of things. But I don't know what or how or where. I was looking forward to do 'something else', but I don't have a clue what that is supposed to be. But not having a clue is not the right answer in a world where the economic crisis, melting polar ice and impending wars are a constant threat. There are too many uncertainties already, why the hell would you create even more?
Creating a new life is not easy. Not without stress. Not relaxed. But the vacuum that occurs when all the certainties disappear, leads to new ideas and new plans. I have to get used to the fact that 'everything' is possible again. I myself, and not my incoming mail, will decide what my day is going to be like. Of course there is money to be earned. Of course there are bills to be paid. But fortunately, the bills are relatively low, as is the money. So they cancel each out, which leaves time. Time to figure out 'Now what?'.
I'm not alone in this situation, I knew that. Next Monday, (October 7), the Dutch documentay show Backlight airs an episode about 'my generation' and how it 'handles the crisis that influences them in a time that is about carreer, founding a family and thinking about the future'. Everyone who asked me
one of the above questions perhaps should watch Backlight first. Then we'll talk.
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Indeed I agree with you... As long as you're not drowning in debt and you're making experiments to learn more about what you like, what you want to do, what others would pay for... you can keep doing it :-)
ReplyDeleteI can relate to what you say, even though I think I have a clue about what to do, but it still is a bit foggy, there are different directions I could be going. For me it's important to pick a direction and try hard enough to make it work, not giving up too soon. I tend to start and stop too much, or suffering by "paralysis by analysis".
When people ask you these questions, they don't like your answers because it threatens their worldview (that "you need to have certainties in this world").
You are very courageous for going this way, Miriam. Keep it up.
Thanks Tommy! You're are right about picking one direction and try hard enough to make it work. I'm still hesitant to choose, because there are too many things I like to do. Probably choosing one would be best, but for now, I'm still hoping I can combine my different interests and create my own life. And if it ends up not working after all, I'll find something else to do :)
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