Work

Is my job my identity? Am I satisfied with the identity that I get from my work? These questions come up at the most inconvenient moments.

After working one temporary job after the other for several years, I decided almost six years ago that I had to look for a permanent job. The idea alone already freaked me out, the fear for eventually not daring to leave anymore had kept me from commiting all those years. In fact, the only activity on my resume that showed any form of commitment was (and still is) singing in my choir. But I also got tired of the anxiety of always having to look for the next job, while I was just starting at a new place.
Now, I'm working at one and the same place for almost five and a half years, and whenever I describe my job to others, they roll their eyes in envy. I have a job that other people are jealous of. Yet, for years already, I'm restless, and think that I need to look for something new, that I want to do something new. The current economic situation makes these kind of thoughts frightening, because who in his right mind gives notice to a nice job and the security that comes with it, without knowing what's coming next? On the other hand, the adventure calls and there is the - perhaps inappropriate - hope that in the end, everything will be fine.

Luckily, I'm not the only one with this dilemma. Among my friends,there are countless similar cases. And there are so many other Thirty-somethings who share our struggle. Fortunately, there are tv-shows like the Dutch show I am: I work therefor I am. Here, philosopher Stine Jenssen explains how in our current work obsessed economy, having a job and working hard for it, are seen as high values. You work to develop yourself and your job gives you your identity. But the freedom we think we pursue is an illusion, because even though employers tell us to be self-reliant, eventually we all depend on the system, and the prevailing norms and values are so strong that they leave little room for freedom.

All of this can lead to interesting discussions and lots of thoughts while cycling, taking a shower, or during boring meetings. For me, I am still contemplating my thoughts. I'm anxious to leave and to try new things, but I'm also afraid of leaving a great job that so many people would love to have, and never find anything like it anymore. In other words: to be continued...